How do we help our children fail?

Mattel's shocking new doll |

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SUBSCRIBE to TIME Magazine Man, that went fast! Here we are at the end of another week and what a doozy it was. Let's just say some very serious mistakes came to light. Lines were crossed that weren't meant to be crossed. People in power said things that were shocking. I'm talking of course about the guy who invented the labradoodle, and now says it's his life's biggest regret . I've often thought how lucky we were to not be able to select what kind of child we want. Because if you get a choice, you can regret your choice. But with kids, where you pretty much, so far, get what you get, we are much more liable to just manage whatever comes our way. One of our children ended up going to a school that was almost our very last choice of educational institution. I was in despair almost every day he went. He recently told us that he really loved it there. Thank goodness I didn't get to choose what to make him good at. (Better at putting things away would have been nice, though.) I'm at Belinda.Luscombe@time.com or @luscombeland on twitter. P.S. If you like this newsletter, please pass it on to a friend. And if you got it from a friend, sign up here for email delivery each Friday. You know, more or less. roundup Loved this essay from the author of the new book, Prepared. It's often said that we have to be prepared to let our children fail so that they build resilience. And yet, as she points out: "Failing is only productive when two things are true: first, the person who fails actually learns something from it and is thus motivated to try again, and second, the failure doesn't permanently close future doors." How do parents navigate that?  TIME One of America's childhood icons now has a whole new sibling. Mattel, the toy company behind Barbie, has made a gender neutral doll. What does it look like? "Carefully manicured features betray no obvious gender: the lips are not too full, the eyelashes not too long and fluttery, the jaw not too wide." Is this the brave new world of toys—or a confusing bridge too far?  TIME One of the trickiest aspects of modern parenting is managing the screens. Not because we know how bad screens are for young brains, but because we don't. Not all screen time is created equal. Each week, a new study seems to bring different recommendations on how to negotiate that interface. A report this week, for example makes a plausible case that not all screens are created equal. What kids are doing on their screens seems to be much more influential in academic performance, at least, than how much screen time they have. TIME There is always bad news around, but Time For Kids' latest cover story focuses on the helpers—namely, Chef José Andrés and World Central Kitchen. Talk about superheroes: This phenomenal team delivers fresh meals to people in crises around the globe. "A hot meal represents love, it represents hope and humanity," Andrés told TIME for Kids from the Bahamas where, as of press time, World Central Kitchen had already served 300,000 meals. We recommend reading this good-vibes story together as a family. TFK Ever wonder how parenting got to be the way it is these days? A lot of it has to do with Benjamin Spock. Here's a quick history of who he is and how he changed everything.  TIME This week, as kids get exposed to narratives and counter-narratives that are enough to make even parents' head spin, I thought it would be good to return to a piece we did about teaching kids to watch video critically. YouTube is huge among all ages of kids and film is one of our most persuasive media. So it's important to let your kid know, for example, that films are actually made; they don't just happen. Here are some other useful pointers to discuss with your kids as they follow yet another Instagram account.  TIME PFFT: Parenting from Famous Types Michael Phelps, swimmer and parent of two "If my kids want to swim, great. If they don't, awesome. But being how I am is challenging. I find myself critiquing Boomer's stoke. That's my competitive side coming out. " To Unsubscribe You have received this e-mail because you are subscribed to this newsletter from TIME.com. Unsubscribe here. Update Email Click here to update your email address. Privacy Policy Please read our Privacy Policy, or copy and paste this link into your browser: https://time.com/privacy TIME may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Offers may be subject to change without notice. For Further Communication Please contact parents@time.com TIME USA, LLC 225 Liberty Street New York, NY 10128 Connect with TIME Find TIME on Facebook Follow TIME on Twitter Subscribe to more TIME Newsletters Get TIME on your Mobile Device Get TIME on your iPad Subscribe to RSS Feed