How to respond to passive-aggressive comments

Plus: Two supplements not worth the hype  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌

Mandy Oaklander | October 14, 2026     Once a week, my colleague Angela Haupt tackles a different communications question in her series, TIME to Talk. Today, she took on passive-aggressive comments, which can be tricky to handle. Should you accept them at face value? Call out the sarcasm? Turns out, there’s a best way to proceed. Later in this edition, Angela explains exactly what to say. TODAY’S TOPICS A phrase to keep in your back pocket Are these supplements worth the hype? What to say to a passive-aggressive person Why we ignore warning signs         QUICK CHAT Not every question deserves an answer I recently spoke with Brook McKenzie, a family-dynamics expert, who introduced me to a phrase I immediately wanted to steal: “I'm not going to discuss that with you right now.” That's it. No elaborate explanation, no scrambling to defend yourself. He told me that hundreds of families have found those few words liberating. Naturally, I wanted to know why. —Angela Haupt, Editor, Health & Wellness This interview has been condensed and edited for clarity. Wong Yu Liang—Getty Images Why do we feel so obligated to answer a question just because someone asks? Sometimes I feel obligated to answer a question simply because it was asked. I have this need to respond, when the best response might actually be, “I'm not comfortable discussing that with you,” or “I'm not going to discuss that with you right now.” When is it appropriate to use that phrase? I've used it with families and partners affected by addiction. Sometimes someone will try to pull you into an argument about something completely unrelated to the issue you're discussing. You don't have to go there. You can simply say, “I'm not going to discuss that with you right now.” Does something that simple really work? I've had hundreds of families tell me that this simple response has changed their lives or changed their family dynamics. It helps free them from those circular, argumentative conversations. So the goal isn't necessarily to win the argument? Exactly. You get to decide what you will and won't discuss. You don't have to keep participating in a conversation that's going nowhere.         SPONSORED Turn your expertise into working software Describe what you want to build Get real software, not a prototype Lovable handles payments, logins, databases Change any detail yourself, any time Put it in front of customers this week Get $5 off Lovable Discount of $5 applies to first month of any paid plan. You need to sign up via this webpage in order to claim the discount. The discount applies to new and returning users without an active paid plan. Terms apply.         WORTH THE HYPE? Taking a closer look at a pair of common supplements Evgeniia Siiankovskaia—Getty Images Vitamin D and calcium are often prescribed to support bone health as people age. 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Try Fresh-Roasted Pods         TIME TO TALK The best way to respond to passive-aggressive comments Photo-Illustration by TIME (Source Image: Francesco Carta fotografo/Getty Images) Have you ever left work at 5 p.m., only for a colleague to ask, “Going home already?” The words leave room for an innocent interpretation. The tone? Not so much. Give them a chance to be direct Try: “I’m not sure how you meant that. Can you say it another way?” Or, with someone close: “I feel like something’s off. Do you want to talk about it?” If it keeps happening, stop guessing Set a clear limit: “I’m willing to have difficult conversations with you. I’m not willing to keep guessing what you mean.” Read the full story here.         SPONSORED Is your company shaping the future? TIME100 Most Influential Companies 2027 entries are now open. Every year, TIME asks what it means for a company to be influential. Every year, the answer changes. With expanded recognition opportunities to celebrate influence across industries, impact initiatives, and, for the first time, workplace innovation, there are more ways than ever to stand out. Submit your company.          WHAT WE’RE READING In a moving essay for TIME, Dr. Raj Panjabi explores why he didn’t recognize the signs of his daughter's heart failure. What actually happens during embalming? Madeleine Aggeler at the Guardian goes behind the scenes with the professionals who prepare bodies for their final goodbyes. Helen Branswell, a prominent infectious disease reporter for STAT News, died yesterday at age 69 from cancer, STAT reports.       More Newsletters from Click to sign up. THE BRIEF +D.C. BRIEF +FUTURE PROOF +INSIDE TIME +IN THE LOOP +WORTH YOUR TIME + Subscribe to TIME Email us: healthmatters@time.com Received this from a friend? Sign up here Connect with TIME PRIVACY POLICY   © 2026 TIME USA, LLC. All rights reserved. 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