I made a rare appearance at my younger daughter's lacrosse game on Wednesday night. I don't often show up for sports. I'm the mom no one recognizes, the one who works too much and drops her daughter off at the wrong field.
I could barely focus on the game. I was so appalled by the opposing team's parents, I couldn't look past the bleachers. They cheered when kids on our team made hapless errors. They shrieked with joy when their team scored, despite the wide margin on their all-but-guaranteed win. They aggressively questioned the referee's calls and congratulated their kids on illegal checks.
My level-headed husband talked me out of confronting the worst offenders (maybe I only held back for fear of seeming like a sore loser). But what were these parents thinking? Our kids learn so much from our behavior on the sidelines. We don't cheer for other people's errors; we ask our kids to stand down on scoring if the other team is clearly outmatched; we praise our opponents when they perform exceptionally well.
Admittedly, I'm a softie. I had a hard time letting go of T-ball. Wouldn't life be better if every player got a hit, every game ended in a tie, and every base had a coach cheering you on? Okay, I accept that these rules can't apply to all ages. At a certain level of play, there's value in being fiercely competitive. But 11-year-olds in a local recreational league aren't there yet.
If you have a child who plays or once played competitive sports, what's your style in the stands? Have you ever encountered bad behavior in the bleachers? Write to me at andrea@time.com.
Best, Andrea
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